confessions of a humble, self-aware narcissist- part 1

ok, so i can openly admit to being narcissistic- yeah, i think i'm special; sue me. i am very aware that it's just me being a brat with a huge ego but i know that i'm really not that great...only sometimes :)

i have an unaspected jupiter in leo conjunct the ic, which gives me an innate sense of self-confidence. i have faith, to put it plainly. i believe in myself and in positive outcomes. i have a tremendous ability to hope for the best and usually, the best is what i experience.

i also have the sun conjunct mercury conjunct venus, and pluto in the 5th house of the ego- i have a gift for self-expression and am positively reinforced when i express myself.

so, what keeps me grounded? well, for one, i am a virgo- no matter what, i will always know that i can't be perfect no matter how hard i try. i have the sun and moon in virgo conjunct saturn. boo! saturn has always been the one to smack me in he face and say, "you are not special, work harder!" plus, good old neptune forms a square to my moon/saturn conjunction- dreams vs. reality is a rough struggle which keeps me down-to-earth but in the end, jupiter wins out; i always have hope.

more narcissistic confessions to come...anybody else?

transit pluto square mercury: intense speech and thought patterns

at the moment, transiting pluto is squaring my mercury and may as well be squaring venus too, as they are conjunct within 1 degree. all i have to say is that one of my new years resolutions is to finally tell someone, "go fuck yourself!" i've never said that to anyone before and it's about time.

i haven't been able to sleep through the night because my mind won't shut off- i keep thinking about work and how i could be doing or learning more. i did enroll in a drawing class, so at least i'll be channeling some of this energy into an artistic endeavor (natal mercury in the 5th).

pluto is a bastard, of course, ruling my 6th house of service, and currently transiting my 7th. i've also been forcing myself to get into the gym- which doesn't do much to help me sleep (like i had thought) but will hopefully give me the obsessive drive to thrim down my excess body weight. i'm turning 30 near the end of this year and i can't afford to start another decade of life with excess woman weight. as a matter of fact, i'm going outside to walk/run some of this shit off...

mercury retrograde: let the confusion move you

so my monday morning started off with a healthy bit of road rage- there's nothing like a nice cut-you-off-because-i-can-in-my-big-suv (my dad) followed by a fuck-you-i'm-going-to-fight-a-losing-battle-in-my-poo-poo-car (the cut-off guy). meanwhile, i'm freaking out in the passenger seat at 6:30 in the morning. the good news? i didn't need a stupid cup of coffee to wake me up today.

this retrograde is traveling through my 9th house and will dip back into the 8th. i'm still trying to finalize a second class for this semester and my dad is waiting to hear back from the bank about his REfinance. plus, a friend of mine is eager to REvisit a psychic we saw last january and i'm happy to go again. funny thing is, when we went last year, it was on the day of a mercury/neptune conjunction. i wonder if he planned our readings for that particular planetary configuration?

i need to REconsider my life priorities: i want a great body, great job, great guy, great computer OR great body, great guy, great job, great computer OR great body, great computer, great internet business...hehe. it looks like great body is on the top and i intend to sweat it into being. REcreation!!!

mars, pluto, the sun, and me

ok, so a while ago i wrote some nonsense about mars neglecting to manifest in my personality but i was totally wrong. i was just being moody with my mars in cancer. but the current astro-climate has me hostile and unsettled. mars, pluto, and the sun are squaring my natal sun and also triggering the natal sextile aspect between mars and the sun, mercury, and venus. jupiter is even involved as it sits in trine to those transiting agitators.

am i complaning, no, not at them moment. i'm sitting in my pajamas, at my computer on holiday break, which is a perfect environment. otherwise, i'd be at risk of scaring others with my volatile temper that rears its ugly head in random moments when things get blown out of proportion. i think i ended a friendship last weekend- lots of mars/pluto in the air.

equal houses versus placidus

hmmm, so i was reading elsa's astrology blog last week and there was some debate about using equal houses. well, when i used equal houses for my natal chart it moved:

• my jupiter, north node, and moon from the 4th house to the 3rd; 
• my saturn to the cusp of the 4th instead of just fucking up my 4th as usual; 
• my sun, mercury, and venus from the 5th to the 4th; 
• pluto to the cusp of the 5th; 
• the vertex from 6th to 5th; 
• uranus to the cusp of the 6th
  

that's a lot of change and the funny thing is, i'm more comfortable with the 3rd house occupancy- it explains my big, loud mouth that gets me into trouble; my detailed memory and ability to mimic languages and accents; my brain that never shuts off and makes me dream of work and neverending links, and unchecked processes that run-on forever...i could go on.

now i am faced with examining the equal house method in all my return charts as well. i love learning and being surprised. 

where's the moon? where's mars? who cares? say thanks to the troops!

it takes, like, 30 seconds...

the doors: lost time

From NY Times: McCain Seeks to Delay Presidential Debate

Did his astrologer tell him to be wary of the mercury retrograde? he is a virgo...

Breaking News Alert
The New York Times
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 -- 3:10 PM ET
-----
McCain Seeks to Delay Presidential Debate

Senator John McCain said that he would temporarily suspend his presidential campaign on Thursday to return to Washington to deal with the financial crisis and the bailout package pending before Congress. Mr. McCain is asking Senator Barack Obama's campaign and the Commission on Presidential Debates to postpone the debate scheduled for Friday night.

Read More:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/25/us/politics/25mccain.html?ex=1379995200&en=a9aa51076406e1e3&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

mercury retrograde in my 5th house

ah, the retrograde period. this one has me REvisiting my decision to buy a laptop. however, after REconsidering my initial choice of an hp pc with windows xp, i have decided that i will invest in my 1st mac book. this also coincides with my interest and recent coursework in digital and web design (5th house activities).

meanwhile, on a transportation note, the amtrak has been running 10-20 minutes late this week due to signal problems and i got pulled over monday night because i needed to REplace my front headlight. i also have to REnew my driver's license.